Sally, who asked that her last name and business be unnamed to prevent retaliation, runs the ‘perfect’ shop to piss off patriotic conservative Americans, from selling flammable US flags to effigies of fetuses and Jesus, all of which are designed to burn easily.

“We want to sell flags with more flammable materials so passionate people who care about social justice can exercise their freedom of the Constitution and its amendments,” says Sally, who is most likely referring to the First Amendment that grants the freedom of speech. Her shop is in the city of Berkeley, which is home to the University of California Berkeley and has a history of radical leftist protests, from the hippie movement in the 1960’s to Antifa today.

She also “sold rugs with the Stars and Stripes design” on her own online store and Amazon so customers can deface the flag with the feet. But anonymous threats and the cost of President Trump’s trade war made her stop selling those rugs.

With the American Thin Blue Line flag and the Confederate flag being a more recent target for leftist protest groups, such as Antifa and Black Lives Matter, Sally also decided to sell more of those.

Additionally, Sally’s latest hit is selling matches. It goes “hand-in-hand” with the flags and is “much safer than guns.”

When asked whether she felt remorse for veterans who died under the flag, She replied that she closes on Memorial Day as a “sign of acknowledgement.”

“But don’t you dare start lecturing me!” Sally declared preemptively, “As a gender studies major and lesbian trans-women, I’ve seen enough to know that not everyone was free under the flag.”

“For example, women, undocumented immigrants, and sexual minority individuals suffered from those that proudly carried the Stars and Stripes,” she continued, “so flag burning is our way of showing that we’re gonna stay ‘woke’, our way of fighting the tyrannical conservative patriarchy.”

Even more bizarre is that she sells effigies, such as fetuses, Jesus, and the Bible, for people to set on fire to symbolize pro-choice and anti-Christianity. It originated as part of a Halloween costume set, in which people can dress up as Satan as they burn these models, but she decided to sell it year-round after seeing how popular it became.

“Some crazies and bastards on the Christian right called me the devil or something,” she said as she laughed with a snort.

But Sally also felt that she shouldn’t sell negativity all the time; or in other words, sell things that are meant to be destroyed. “I guess I’ll sell more graffiti paint, or Pride flags, or something,” she said, referring to the Gay Pride Rainbow flag.

Finally, Sally also professed to be knowledgeable about economics, stating that she “believes in hardcore socialism since it’s unfair that the rigged system protects greedy capitalists and Nazis while the marginalized like [her] are excluded.”

“I’m hardcore since the only way to kill an entrenched system is to be hardcore,” she said, “to inspire people, I’ve sold books on Gandhi, Malcolm X, Karl Marx, Mandela, Martin Luther King, Jr., you name it.”

“It’s also my economic belief to support anyone that Trump or the fascists wants to bully,” she explained, “so I try to only buy from LGBTQIA+ businesses, ethnic minorities, the undocumented, effigies from Asia, and fabric from Mexico, Guatemala, and literally anyone else south of the border”.

“But I’m not limited to buying from them,” she stated. “At the end of the day, I’ll do anything that’ll help the oppressed be more free, and whatever that’ll trigger the ‘alt-right’,” which is now commonly used as a blanket term by radical leftists to describe anyone closer to the right than they are.